I Hate Myself. I Feel Crazy.
A Comeback Story
The first chapters are on me.
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Turn it over to God, should have been the plan.
It opens like a Quentin Tarantino movie, right in the middle of the worst moment of my life. The morning I found out from FedEx that my boyfriend passed away.
So the story has to go backwards before it can go forward.
Schoolyard beatings. Falling in love. Funerals that turned into comedy. My father closing every blind in the house as he dragged me out of the closet. The kind of loss that splits a life into two.
Depression so bad that I was suicidal. And the only way I could deal with the pain was to abuse drugs. A drug dealer or two was bound to get choked out.
And somehow, it’s funny.
It’s what happens when the hate you carry for yourself outweighs everyone’s love for you.
Therapy. NA. A therapist who looked like Denise Huxtable. Owning my part in my own destruction. The people who carried me. The ones I lost. And the strange, brutal, hilarious work of coming back.
Not to who I was. To who I was supposed to become.
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Coming November 12, 2026.
With love,
William
